How To Build a Powerful Personal Network

It's probably a sign of the times, but increasingly people I coach are concerned about making sure they are match fit to compete in the jobs market. High on the list of the skills they want to sharpen is networking. Here's an exercise I devised to build and maintain a powerful personal network.

What networks do you already use?

Make lists of people already in networks you have. Divide them in to the following categories - some people may be in more than one:

- Social/family
This shouldn't be too hard, these are the few people who matter for more than just work or business.

- Professional/Peers
These are the people you do business with regularly - some might be competitors who you need to keep an eye on, others may be peers whose opinions you value or who you just have to work with.

- Experts/artisans
These are people you need for their particular knowledge or skills. They may not be at the same organisational level as you but they are valuable.

Next list the people you know in the following categories (they are based on Malcolm Gladwell's superb book The Tipping Point), again some of these people will be in the groups you listed above:

Connectors:

People who know everyone. They are the ones who constantly introduce people to each other and know exactly who is the right person to see about everything.

Maverns:

Some of the people in your experts and Artisans list may be Maverns.They are specialists, and are madly passionate about their subject. They're evangelical and eager to share their love of their topic with you. You probably know Maverns on a range of subjects.

Salespeople:

exactly what it says on the tin. Salespeople are great convincers and influencers, the ones with the power to get an idea across.

By now you'll have quite a few names, probably too many to keep in regular contact with all the time. So, how do you work out which of these people are your most useful contacts?

Review your lists and see whose names appear most across the categories. You will probably end up with a list of about twenty or so.These are your power networkers and are the people you want to have around you for whatever project you embark on.

In my next post we'll look at how you nurture and maintain your power network. In the meantime get hold of a copy of Gladwell's Tipping Point, for a great account of how only a few people can make a whole host of difference.

How Mediation Can Help With More Than Just Obvious Disputes

I mediated recently for a public body that had been unable to resolve a complaint. A bereaved family had received very poor service at a tragic time for them.

The investigation had established that no blame could be attributed to an individual - at least not to the extent that it would attract any sanction - but despite an absolute apology by the organisation the family could not move on.

Although they truly acknowledged how awful their situation had been, the organisation felt the family was becoming a thorn in their side, with repeated requests to the CEO's office for face-to-face meetings with individual staff members. So far as they were concerned, the organisation was not in dispute: they had apologised profusely and acknowledged by letter the paucity of service as well

as explaining why no individual blame could be apportioned.

For their part the family remained bitter and angry> They they did not dispute the investigation findings but felt the complaint resolution process, whilst addressing facts, had failed to allow them to vent their feelings sufficiently. They disliked the dispassionate tone of the organisation's letters of explanation and felt the apology lacked humanity.

Individual members of staff had been asked to meet with a member of the family but were uneasy about being the organisation's scapegoat, and in any case could not see why they should put themselves through a potentially stressful situation: after all they had done no wrong.

I was asked if I would help.

having mediated workplace disputes for the organisation before I knew that their preferred method of mediation was to hold one face-to-face meeting with only superficial initial contacts with the parties. That wouldn't do here; I needed to gain the trust and confidence of both parties - not least the nervous middle manager whose team had been involved in only part of the incident. He had been told he had to participate - not ideal for mediation where a key principle is that participation is

voluntary!

I knew from experience that in situations where emotions are high parties often have little idea what they want beyond their outpouring of anger or distress. So my first conversation was a long one as I listened, and listened, and listened.

Where I find coaching and mediation complement each other is in the skill of asking questions that guide a party towards an outcome, or in this case, a resolution they wish to achieve. At the end of our conversation I had a good idea of what to expect and also importantly permission to reassure the other party that their intentions were not hostile.

My meeting with the middle manager was very different. He was defensive - after all he'd done nothing wrong, it was official. In our initial meeting I reassured him that I would be in charge of the session, and to assure him of my credibility as a mediator.

The face-to-face meeting was a success: the middle manager left with a different view of how to manage complaints; the bereaved mother found she was not as angry as she thought when she heard how people had tried their best but just didn't see the bigger picture.

Importantly for me, her parting comment that she 'could take down the bereavement cards now' was a sign that after two years she could see beyond the dispute she'd been locked in.

As a mediator this case reinforced the value of mediation in situations beyond neighbourhood and family disputes, or workplace issues. It also highlighted how vital flexibility of approach is, with particular emphasis on parties' needs being of paramount importance.

I received a lovely thank-you e-mail this week from the family - that meant a lot, not least because despite my independence, I'd been brought in by the organisation.